"How many times have I warned you? Vee, how many times? Are you happy that your sister is now in the hospital and you are here trying to act all good while she is in pain? Am I not enough for you or do you think because I don have wealth and a good house like Alexanders? You can just leave me? You can leave me, you will never leave me because you don have anywhere to go, you listen?"
His eyes were all red, and the veins popping on his face threatens to burst out of his skin. His hands are on my neck squeezing the life out of me. I wanted to say sorry but I couldn . My hands were struggling to remove his hands from my neck but all that was useless because that was not working. I felt the air escape from my windpipe and it was replaced with dryness and I couldn feel anything. I struggled but his anger took the best of him as he lectured me.
He let go of my neck and threw me on the floor. I sprawl on the floor as I try to gasp for any bit of air in my lungs. I coughed while on the floor. The smell of bleach blocked my nose but I had to fight for air.
My step-mom stood by the door, they had chased, Big Mouth and Whisper. Are they planning to kill and make sure that no one knows about it? No, I am not going to let that happen. I crawled on my belly to move away from the heavy scent of bleach but it was all over the floor. Josh stood next to my body and looked at me.
"Please, please don hurt me, I didn plan on any of that to happen, please," I begged him while my hands fly in the air trying to ask for forgiveness. He is right, there is no place for me to go to. l am afraid to face Sofie and her family, they are probably planning to even take me to court. If I stay on the street I might be hurt, even more, Josh is my only option.
He grabs my hair and drags me close to my step mum. The pain is too much and I can pretend that I am not feeling this. I try to hold my hair from his grip but that is not helping. He forces me to stand and face my stepmother. This is the pay, this is the reward for being so vicious and doing a deadly sin. I hope after this everything is going to work out.
"Vee, as much as you are my daughter, you are nothing to me!" she shouts while holding her waist. That has been made clear since day one. I don think today is the day she disowns me, she disowned me ever since day one. Today, she is making it clear that I am nothing to her. I am tired of saying sorry but my mouth must say it because I am wrong. So I say it over and over, maybe a thousand times over and over. I don care, I just want to make sure that they listen to me. This a not me pretending, this is me trying to be calm and apologetic. I didn write Kendra an apology letter but I hope whatever they are doing here is all that theyll need to save me from my transgression.
"Josh, deal with her, am tired!" she says to Josh and walks out of the door. I watch as Josh closes the door and we are just the two of us. This won be the first time he lays a hand on me. It is going to be the first time he drags me by my hair. I need to persevere, the fruits of this all are going to be beautiful.
After closing the door, he turns to me, angers still evident on his face, his neck showing all veins and the dark blood running on them. The first time I have seen him this furious. He walks towards me, I am afraid that the fist that he has made in his hands is going to find me and I will pass out. I lift my hands and place them in my face, not ready for the punch but hopeful that it won hurt that much. My body is so weak to stand up straight, I can tell him anything. He has always reminded me to shut up when he is talking. That is what I am going to do.
"Come here!" my arms are grabbed and I am taken to the bedroom, a place where no one will hear or see what is happening. Throwing me on the bed, he removed my shorts and throws them on the ground, tearing my t-shirt, he leaves me naked, in briefs and bras. I feel the cold crawling up my body as I try to cover my body. What is he doing? Why is he doing this to my body? He removes his clothes and grabs his belt.
"Josh, please, I am sorry, I didn mean. For any of that to happen. I didn mean to do that to Kendra." I don want him to get in between my legs looking like this. As much as I wanted him to be my first, I don want him to be my first in this situation.
Adjusting his belt, he walks over to me, grabs my hands, and ties them to the headboard of the bed. All this time, my mind can think of anything. I just hope for any miracle to happen, any miracle that is going to save me from all these but there is no miracle l, remember? I have never been favored! I think my guardian angel got into an accident and I will have to maneuver this world all alone. These are the times I believe that life is not a fairy tale, that life is about how you work your way. I don think God is watching me right now. Do you think maybe He has gone for supper or dinner or maybe he is watching over other things but not me?
My hands are tightened on the headboard while my legs are parted wide. I try to struggle but that is useless when the person doing this is stronger than you. I am never good with mind games or any tricks, I don think I can tell him anything to trick him into thinking that he can do anything apart from making me a slave in this bed. I have heard of people being abducted, raped, and going through all sorts of painful things, today, I don think I got abducted, I have gone through all this and I know who my kidnapper is.
"Josh, please, please I beg of you, I don know what you are planning to do but can you please just let me be?" I beg him with tears in my eyes, crying and letting him know that I am sorry. He lets out a sarcastic laugh before dragging the stool and sitting on it.
"Vee, you know, you are so stubborn, how many times have I told you to stop looking at other men that way? It looks like this little pussy of yours and these tender breasts that you hide below this are young to you, huh?" he asked with anger. I shook my head but that was not enough.
"I didn seduce anyone Josh, ever since you warned me about Pete, I stopped. I have never done that!" I say to him.
He grabbed my bra and forcefully removed it from my body leaving me all bare. I wanted to cover them but I can . I don know why all of a sudden I feel weird being naked in front of him. This is not how I wanted this to go.
"No, its not about Pete its about Xander! Do you want him to see the types of breasts you have? You want him to see how you are pretty? Trust me, you are ugly, you are nothing Vee, you are just some girl whom I mistakenly fell in love with but I have to take care of you because your parents can do that!" he said.
He said that right. I was desperately looking for anyone who can love me, and shelter me and he was available. He was there. He gave me money to buy snacks like my fellow students. Hugged me and kissed me in front of other students when no one wanted me. He showed me love when no I didn know what it was. Maybe I was wrong. I didn know the wolf that was hidden below the sheeps wool. After school it was hard, he didn care, and he never gave me money, and I had to go back and beg my sister to help me out but that came with one condition. $50 for working on her social media and the rest of the money was being saved up for my college fund. I didn . Know that all this time I was not in love but I was. Josh is just doing what is right, showing me that he loves me, today he is gone overboard but to keep it, he will be sorry. Will he?
"Do you know how I had to convenience your sister and her husband not to take you to court? Do you know how they were ready to send police officers over here to arrest you? Do you know that Mrs. White was ready to kill you for killing the only grandson that she could have?"
I didn know that they were planning to arrest me. I didn know that they wanted to kill me because of that. I know children are special, I wish I was that special, I wish someone was ready to kill for me if something bad had happened to me but no, I am here all alone with nothing.
"I had to tell them that you didn mean it, I had to give them half of my savings. Since I did that, I will need you to pay me that half of my savings. I need that half of my savings back!" said Josh with finality.
"I can work hard Josh and get you the cash, I will do everything you want me to do, please, don take it this way, I don know if I will be able to live if you do this." I cried trying to beg him. I tried to ask him to listen to me ask for forgiveness but he didn seem to hear what u were talking about.
He grabbed my panties and tore them from my body, removed his boxes, and the once nice, this dick that I saw him stroking was angry and it was finding its way toward me. I heard my friends talk of how they enjoyed their first time, how they experienced love in the bed of roses, turns out my love is going to be given on this small hard bed, with my hands in bondage, my legs tied up and I am all and painful.
He spat on his dick, lubricated it, and forcefully shoved it inside me, he didn care, his hands on my breast but all I felt was pain. I deserve the beatings and the scolding but I sure didn deserve this!